Holidays Here

Happy Christmas (Eve)!

This is Joel and I's first Christmas as a married couple and I cannot wait. I love Christmas, always have done, but I'm even more excited this year. It's been one of the best years of my life. I feel like asking for another year like this one would be asking too much.

We'll be over at Mom's tomorrow. Missa will be there too, of course. She's not bringing her new boyfriend, although we all encouraged her to. She says it doesn't feel right since they're not that serious yet. But Alex, Mom's boyfriend, will be spending the day with us! I'm so happy for her. I really think things are gonna work out for them. I hope they do. He's an awesome guy. His kids, Ollie and Kaitlin, will be joining us in the afternoon, along with Ollie's girlfriend, Freya, as they'll be spending Christmas morning with their Mom.

Getting everyone gifts this year has been kinda difficult, especially since we don't know Ollie or Kaitlin - or even Alex - that well. We also got Freya a little something. It's just a pretty little bracelet I found in a boutique last week. It's not much but I thought we should give her something. I showed Ollie and he said it's exactly her kinda thing, so I'm hoping she'll like it. I've only met Freya once and it was very briefly, but she was really friendly and seemed super sweet. She's 24, so I'm sure we'll find plenty to talk about tomorrow.

We're going down to Laguna on Boxing Day and spending a couple days with Joel's family. I feel kinda bad about not spending Christmas Day with them but Amanda told me not to be silly and that she completely understood me wanting to be with my Mom. I suggested to Joel that we spend the morning and early afternoon at my Mom's and then make our way to Laguna for the evening but he assured me that he didn't mind going down on Boxing Day instead. I'm sure in years to come we'll merge together and all spend Christmas as one big family, but I feel like that's something you do when you have kids. Still, our families exchanged gifts and Serena and Victoria exchanged gifts, which was super nice.

After we get back from Laguna we should have a week or so to ourselves before I have to get back in the studio. As much as I love doing the family thing, I am looking forward to having some time alone with Joel. Because he really is the best husband in the world.

You Thought Wrong

No, you're not seeing things. This is indeed my second post this week. Whilst I usually wouldn't dare blog quite so frequently under normal circumstances, a certain issue was brought to my attention today and I want to vent about it. So here goes. 

This afternoon I found myself home alone for the first time in forever. Joel and Kaden decided to go shopping. I was invited, but I had cramps and decided that it was safer to stay home. Besides, the apartment could do with a wiping over and I needed to sort out my closet. These tasks didn't take me quite as long as I had anticipated. With nothing else to do, I decided to watch some television, which I very rarely do. I started to watch a talk show. The topic was Teens Out Of Control, and the guest was a 15-year-old girl. She admitted to having slept with at least 40 people, one being a 60-year-old man, and had caught Chlamydia twice. She had been involved in group sex, BDSM and was regularly prostituting herself. On top of all that, she had a boyfriend whom she was also sleeping with and who was completely aware of what she was getting up to. 

My first thoughts were those of shock and disgust. But, as I listened to that child speak, they turned into pity and sadness. I wanted to talk to her, to hug her and ask why. Why does this child have so little self-respect? Where has she learned this? Who has taught her that this is the way forward? Where are her parents? Well, that much was obvious. Her parents had refused to come on the show but had given a statement saying that they had given up and that she had always been a 'problem child'. 

It's all too common these days. But that belief isn't completely alien to me. People are always surprised to learn that Joel wasn't my first. I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend, Adrian. I was 16-years-old. I was naive and completely unprepared. I didn't want to. I thought that I had to. He took advantage of me that night, and many more nights. It's one of my biggest regrets in life. And that's only one person. I can't imagine how these girls, who are sleeping with God knows how many people, feel. And I know they feel it. I can see it in their eyes. 

I wish there was something I could say to these girls. I would never want anyone to have the regrets that I have. I made a bad decision and I have to live with that. I have accepted it, but I will never be happy with it. 

Dream On

I must admit, being married is so much more fun than I thought it would be. 

When you announce that you're planning to get married at a young age, a lot of people will do anything and everything to try to persuade you not to. I can't even begin to list all the horror stories I heard throughout Joel and I's engagement. 

But they were always from strangers, or people that had very little impact on our lives. Nobody that knew us tried to tell us that we were doing the wrong thing. And I think that's partly why I always knew that it was absolutely right. 

Life is good. Work is great. Joel is awesome. 

Missa started seeing a new dude. It's not exclusive yet but she seems to like him, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her. Mom and Alex are going strong! And Serena is single and will remain so until she's twenty-three. 

I feel pretty lucky right now. 

Raise Your Glass

So my Mom desperately wants Joel and I to have a baby. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her that we're not quite ready yet. She drops hints at every opportunity. She even expressed disapproval when I got my contraceptive implant a few months ago! Call me old school but I feel that this isn't normal. She's forever harping on about how Joel and I would make great parents. And I hope that we will. When the time is right. And I'm not sure that this is that time. Sure, if it were to happen then I'd embrace that, but we're definitely not aiming to become pregnant any time soon. Besides, Missa is a whole sixteen months older than me. If anyone's having a baby then it should be her.

In other news, Dad wrote me. We've been writing back and forth occasionally. I haven't mentioned that Mom's seeing someone, and I don't plan to. I feel that it's up to her to decide whether she wants him to know that or not.

Missa, Serena, Joel and I met Alex's kids - well, adult and teenager - for the first time last week. His son, Ollie, is 26 and works in construction. A real gentleman. He lives in Calabasas with his girlfriend and has awesome taste in music! Alex's daughter, Kaitlin, is 16. She lives with her Mom during the week and spends weekends with her Dad, and also has great taste in music. She's definitely a little shy but super sweet. I can't wait to get to know them both.

Life is pretty sweet right now.

Best Days

My sincerest apologies for taking so long to update. Again. I have no excuses besides being super, super busy. And somewhat of a slacker. And a newlywed, of course.

I'm not sure where to start. I could write a book on the past couple months, I'm sure. It's been great for the most part. I'm absolutely loving married life, as well as family and friends, obviously.

I start work on the new record on Monday! I'm so unbelievably stoked! I can't wait to get into the studio. I have so many songs already, and so much more to write about. I'm a little nervous about putting certain stuff out there... but I also feel like it's a necessary part of the healing process for me. Either way, I can't wait to see where this record takes me!

In other news, Joel and I are now living alone again. Mom and Serena moved into their brand spanking new apartment last week. It's super delicious. Seeing them leave was quite emotional, but they're only twenty minutes away. Missa, who is now living with Gracie, as I think I mentioned before, spent their last night here. We all slept on sleeping bags in the living room, watched movies and giggled until 2AM. It was precious. And then we all helped to move them in the next day, along with Alex, Mom's boyfriend. Things seem to be going great between the two of them. Serena tells me that he's been spending the night at the apartment a lot. Mom's definitely got her glow back. She's constantly smiling these days, and Serena seems to like him a lot. I really, really hope it works out.

As for Joel and I, married life has been nothing but amazing so far. He'll be coming to the studio with me a lot when I start recording, which is great because I'm not sure I'd like having to leave him that much. It's quite pathetic. Oh well. We're newlyweds.

Now that we have the apartment to ourselves again, we decided we'd finish the decorating we never got around to doing. Today we started work on the guest room. It seems weird calling it a guest room again. It's been Mom and Serena's bedroom for the past year. And now it's empty. Kinda bittersweet. But doing it up is turning out to be a lot of fun. Joel and I are both hopeless decorators. But we're having fun.

We've been hanging out with the boys a lot. I missed them so, so much whilst we were gone. I need my boys. We've also seen a lot of Gracie, which I love. I feel like we've barely seen one another this past year. Not because we haven't wanted to but because we've both had so much going on. But now that things are calming down I want to devote some more time to her. Because she really is awesome.

I'm headed out to New York tomorrow! Fun times. I love The Twins. I've seen them once since we got back from Australia and that's just not enough. I have to be back on Sunday to start work on Monday but I'm pretty sure it's going to be an amazing weekend. Joel is going to Laguna to spend some time with the family. He was invited to New York but he likes to give us girls what he calls 'lady time'. And he hasn't seen his parents in around three weeks. Cady is currently in New York too.

I love that woman. I really do. I've seen her a couple times in the past month or so. We hang out when we can. It's kinda crazy to be hanging out with Cady Cross though. It's all crazy really. I mean, I'm not sure that I'll ever get my head around the fact that Lindsay and Roxy Stevens are two of my closest friends. Plus Cady Cross? Madness.

Having Cady in my life has taught me so much. It's taught me to appreciate all that I have and all I've been blessed with. The fact that she's still with us says more about her strength and character than people give her credit for. She's the type of person that changes your life without ever really meaning to. I'd give her the world if I could.

Gotta head out. Joel and I are meeting the boys for dinner and bowling! I'll try to blog whilst I'm in New York!

California Gurls

Just a quick update, since we have to go to dinner in ten! We've been back in LA a little over a week. It's good to be home! Australia was amazing. I'm so, so glad we went. But I'm also stoked to be back home with our loved ones. Mom, Missa, Serena and Gracie met us at the airport, which was a nice surprise! Gracie and Missa are now roomies! I love it!

There's so much to write about and so little time! But I'll do my best to write a proper blog sometime in the near future. But don't hold me to that.

World's Greatest...

10 Reasons Why I Have The Best Husband In The World;

- He always makes sure I have a Red Bull to wake up to in the morning.

- He still thinks I'm hot when I look like Hell.

- He doesn't mind when I spend an hour doing my hair and makeup.

- He plays guitar like a God.

- He's HOT.

- He irons my clothes. Thanks, Babe.

- He doesn't mind when I forget to shave my legs.

- He lets me dye, cut and play with his hair whenever I want.

- He shares my love for crazy pajamas.

- He treats me like a princess, even when I'm PMS-ing at him.

Sigh. Doesn't it make you sick?

Hello, Melbourne

So, once again, I have been somewhat M.I.A. these past couple weeks. I'd apologize and promise never to do it again... but I know I will, so I'll apologize and that will be all.

Australia is amazing! We're having the best time. I still can't believe that I'm here, in Melbourne, with my husband. It's kinda crazy to think about, huh? We've been up to all kinds since we've been down under. Insert highly inappropriate joke here.


I've been feeling super inspired this past week or so. I wrote two songs yesterday alone! Madness! One is called Down To You and another is called Going Forward, and they're kinda related in theme. Down To You is about the day I went to Oregon with Missa to see Dad after the whole ordeal. It was without a doubt the worst day of my life. It's probably the most honest song I've ever written. It's going to be hard to perform night after night... but I want to. I think I need to.

Going Forward is basically the aftermath of Down To You and centers on having to pick up the pieces of what Dad did. I guess I'm a little anxious about Mom hearing it because I know she's going to think she's to blame... and if that's what's going to happen then I'd rather she didn't hear it. It's not about her at all. It's about him. What he did.

I spoke to Dad when we got back to Los Angeles. I hadn't spoken to him since before the wedding. He emailed a couple times whilst we were in Europe but I wasn't really prepared to get into all that whilst on my honeymoon. Still, I did send him a quick email once we arrived back home, letting him know that the wedding went well and that we'd had a great time in Europe. He also asked about Missa and Serena. I told him that they were fine. They're not yet ready to talk to him and I'm not going to interfere with that.

Joel says that I've handled this situation very well, which is comforting to hear. I value his opinion more than he'll ever know, so knowing that he's always behind me is, well, invaluable. I love him. A lot.

Gotta Say

I love Australia.

Just A Girl

Well, it's been an insane week! So much to report on!


We arrived home from Europe on Monday. Mom, Missa and Serena met us at the airport, which was super nice. I can't even tell you how stoked I was to see them. We went back to the apartment, had hot chocolate and ordered pizza. And everyone liked their presents! Mom, Missa and Serena didn't stay long because we were super tired.

Turns out that Mom and Serena have been staying at Missa's place since we've been away. She's been living alone since she and Ben broke up. Mom bought an apartment a couple weeks ago but isn't able to move in for another couple months. She mentioned something about remaining with Missa until then, which I'm cool with because I don't really like her being on her own. Hopefully by the time Mom and Serena are ready to move out she'll have a new flatmate.

Anyways, we ended up taking a bath and were in bed by eleven that night. Craziness! We all went up to Laguna on Tuesday and had an awesome time with the in-laws. We hung out at the house, had a BBQ and then went swimming in the evening, which was awesome. I love to swim. We were back in LA by Wednesday afternoon. We packed for Australia and then got dinner with Missa, Liam, Chris, Gracie, Kizzie and Beth. Cady was supposed to come but had a turn at the last minute. But it didn't matter because we were all scheduled on the same plane out to New York on Thursday, along with Harry and Raven.

Saying goodbye to Mom and Serena again was hard. I'm already missing them and we've not even left the country! Missa is going back to LA with everyone else tomorrow, and Joel and I are headed to Australia! I'm grateful for these extra few days with her. I really have missed her. She's an awesome sister and my very best friend. Being away from her sucks... but we'll only be gone for a month this time!

I also got to meet Mom's new man! And I like him! He's a handsome thing - Momma done good! He seems like a really nice guy. And he's a business owner! He too is currently going through a tough divorce, like Mom, and has two children, a son a couple years older than Missa and a teenage daughter who apparently loves me and my music but has no idea that her Dad is dating my Mom. I was a little worried about that but he assured me that his children are aware that he's seeing someone new, they just haven't met Mom yet. He says that he didn't want to tell them about me because he wasn't sure how I'd feel about it, which was considerate, though I wouldn't have minded. He seems to like Mom a lot, and I know she really likes him, so I really hope it works out for them.

Speaking of the divorce, the final papers should be through in a few weeks. It's still a little weird to me that my parents are actually getting divorced. It sucks that it came to this. But that's entirely my Dad's fault. He ruined absolutely everything and I'm incredibly proud of my Mom for going through with this. As tough as it has been, I think she's finally realized that she deserves much, much more. She's a different person these days. I love her more than I could put into words.

But anyways, New York! We arrived on Thursday and made our way straight to Nassau. I can't even tell you how good it was to see Lindsay and Roxy. There's something so contagious about them. There's never a dull time with The Twins.

The party was on Friday. It was at a really awesome club in Manhattan that I'd never been to and the theme was don't matter if you're black and white. I wore black and white. Just because. I also performed, as did Cady - and we actually did a couple songs together, which was absolutely amazing and one of the coolest things I have ever done - but more on her some other time.

I'm not sure how they do it but Lindsay and Roxy throw the absolute best parties and this one was no exception. It's possible that I consumed a little too much wine throughout the evening and can't really remember how the night ended. Good times!

Heart-Shaped Box

So, it's our last week in Europe. Sadness. But I'm stoked on going home and seeing everyone. Europe has been awesome to us. It's been an adventure, that's for sure! I'm also stoked on getting to Australia! But I sure will miss this RV.


I can't believe how much shit I've bought. Joel doesn't think I'm gonna get it all home. I'll show him. I'm going to purchase some more suitcases tomorrow and then Fed Ex what's left. It's mostly clothes. My bad. We also got everyone presents. And then there's some other bits and pieces, such as ornaments and souvenirs. Things like that. Plus all the stuff we've used on the bus. I plan on giving some stuff away, like all the cutlery and things that we'll never use at home. There's a super awesome family in the RV parked up beside us right now, also Americans, whom we've become quite friendly with. There's Mom, Dad, and four kids, and they've admitted that they don't really have much money. I want to give them the things we're not taking with us. Super nice people. Adorable kids.

I do, however, want to keep the drapes and cushions and candles, as well as some other things. I've no idea where it's all gonna fit in our little apartment. Oh well. We'll work it out. And - having said that - I'm sure I'll go to Australia next week and buy just as much crap.

We're Young And Beautiful

Hello, Barcelona!

So we've been on the road, cruising Europe, for almost two months. We're leaving on the 19th, spending a couple days at home, then going to New York for Lindsay and Roxy's birthday, and then we're going to Australia. I've never been to Australia! We're spending about a month out there and I cannot wait! Joel went out there when he was around thirteen because he has relatives in Melbourne. We're planning to meet with them, which we're both excited about. I love meeting his relatives.

I'm stoked that we get to go home and see everyone, I must admit. I've missed everyone so much. I can't wait to see Mom, Missa and Serena. It sucks that we only get to spend a couple days at home though. It's gonna be tough trying to squeeze in time with everyone but hey, we'll work it out.

I can't wait for New York. I've missed The Twins like crazy and well, let's face it, nobody throws a party like Lindsay and Roxy Stevens do! Their parties are insane. Always. And everyone's going, which makes it that much more awesome. I've missed Cady and Kizzie! I'm so stoked to see them and everybody else.

I Want You

I might have the most amazing husband ever... husband. That's weird. I'm still not quite used to referring to him as my husband. But it's pretty much the neatest feeling ever when I do.

So anyways. Joel went into the little shopping center on the site we're currently at this morning to get milk and bought me roses. And Red Bull. This man is simply perfect.

We've been staying at various RV parks for the most part. Nice ones. We wanted the whole travelling experience. I mean, what's the point in hiring an RV only to park it outside a hotel each night and never actually stay on it? But I think I'm gonna suggest that we get a hotel tonight. I wanna do something special for him. I'm gonna run down to the center in a bit and see what I can find... not that I really need much. We have lots of candles and I bought some nice lingerie with me. But I'd like some bubble bath. It's been a while since we took a nice bath together. The RV only has a shower and it's a little cramped. Possibly some massage lotion. Imagine that.

Better Days

Exciting news! It doesn't really regard me - or Joel - but it's still exciting!

Mom has a man!

Yes, it's true! Missa called me a couple hours ago to tell me that she came home to discover Mom getting ready to go out. Initially Momma insisted that she was going out with a couple friends... but eventually confessed to having met a man a couple weeks ago! Apparently she's been out with him twice already! Sneaky. I like it.

I'm stoked that she's met someone. I really am. Missa says she virtually lit up when talking about him. That really warms my heart. I sincerely hope it works out for her. I can't wait to meet him. His name is Kevin and he's a lawyer. Imagine that! Impressive!

Now all we need to do is get Missa a man and the Torbin ladies will be set!

When In Rome

Hanging out in Rome! Life rules. Hard.


I want to buy an RV once we're home and live in it. I'm a gypsy. I absolutely love living in a moving vehicle. Weird. I love the idea that you can take off as and when you feel like it. Joel says it's nice for a vacation but he wouldn't want to live in one permanently. Boo. He sucks. I'm re-thinking this marriage deal.

We have another five weeks out on the road and then we're headed home! I can't wait to see everyone! I'm missing my nearest and dearest. A lot. But I've done well with keeping everyone posted. I've spoken to at least one person back home everyday. I spoke with Serena this morning. She spent the past week in Laguna Beach with Victoria, which is super neat. I'm so glad they've become such good little buddies.

I called Lindsay and Roxy last night because it had been a week or so since I'd last spoke to them and that wont do. I miss those gingernuts. I truly do. They're special. I can't wait to see them. I'm also desperate to see Serena, Missa and Mom. It's crazy to me that not too long ago I barely saw Serena and Mom. As shitty as the circumstances are, I'm glad that changed. I really am.

Way Back When

I love him. And I love Europe.

I spent the afternoon decorating the RV... well, there's not a whole lot you can do with a rental RV but I took the boring old blinds down and put up some brand spanking new drapes. I got new cushions and blankets and rugs and bought those little lights you put on your tree at Christmas and have hung them wherever possible. It's all very blue and purple and pink. Joel says I'm lucky he loves me.

We're currently in Paris. It really is the most romantic city in the world. Joel and I made dinner together last night and ate under the stars. We stayed outside until midnight, talking and laughing about old times and eating more desert than was probably necessary. And then we headed back into the bus and made love.

Things are going wonderfully well in that department. I must admit, I never really believed that sex would be any different once we were married... but it is. I think it's just because we feel so incredibly close to each other at the moment. Honeymoon bliss, if you'd like. Whatever you wanna put it down to, I'm not complaining.

We've been jamming a lot. I've written six songs since we've been here. I can't wait to get into the studio. I got the go-ahead to start working on the next record, which will be my third, when I'm back from Europe. I'm so excited! I've spoken to Raven about producing some tracks and Cady has promised she'll do something with me too! I kinda already know what I want to do with her. We wrote a song, along with Roxy, a few months ago called Way Back When and I absolutely love it. It's probably one of my favorite songs I've ever had a part in writing. I desperately want them both on the track! I have some serious grovelling to do.

I suppose I could offer Roxy sexual favors.

All That I Am

To say that it's been an insane week would be an understatement... but it's also been the best week I can remember having.

The wedding was absolutely perfect. There really is no other way to describe that day. And marriage is so much more than I ever imagined it to be. In all honesty, I assumed that it was more or less the same as being in a long-term relationship, as we had been. But I was wrong. Marriage is something else. And I'm so happy to be his.

Europe is incredible! The weather has been amazing and I'm truly having the time of my life. If this is as good as it gets then I'm pretty happy.

What A Wonderful World

What's been going on in the wonderful world of Lynx Torbin, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.


Things are mad. Everyone is rushing around, making final arrangements and preparations. To be completely honest, I'm well and truly ready to get this wedding over and done with! The whole ceremony part isn't really my thing and never was. I'm just excited to be married and to go to Europe! Missa and I are going shopping tomorrow to get my summer wardrobe. I can't even tell you how stoked I am on spending the summer travelling across Europe.

I've decided to wait until we get there to get all the things we'll need on the RV, like toiletries and all that. And I fully intend on decorating. It's going to be our home for two months! Bring it on!

Ready

So I'll be married this time in one week. Craziness. Pure craziness.

I'm most excited about leaving for Europe, to be completely honest. I never, ever imagined I'd be married this young. But I thank God for Joel everyday. I know it's the cliche thing to say but I've no idea where I'd be without him. I'm not sure I ever would have gotten through the whole Mom/Dad issue had I not had him at my side.

Grandma and Grandpa are arriving on Monday to spend the week with us! I'm so stoked. I haven't seen them since the Portland show. Dad wont be coming. But all my old friends from Oregon will be there! I'm super excited to see everyone. I'm not entirely sure how many guests we have coming but I think it's close to three hundred!

I'm a little nervous about the bachelorette party. Lindsay, Roxy and Missa have planned it all in secret. I can only imagine!

Walking On Sunshine

Once again I have neglected my blogging duties. Sincere apologies.

We spent the weekend down in Laguna, which was super nice. We visited the chapel in which we will be married in less than a month! Insane! It was awesome to get away. It's always nice to spend time with the in-laws-to-be. And I mean that. Joel has the most awesome parents - besides my Mom, obviously.

I hung out with Cadence and Raven at Raven's studio on Thursday. I love those chicks. They really are ridiculously talented. We wrote three killer songs together. I'm super stoked on them. I think Cady is meeting with Kizzie and I for drinks tomorrow night too. Should be a good time!

Mom, Missa, Serena and I went on a day trip to Santa Monica Pier one day last week. It was truly awesome. We rode rides, swam in the ocean and ate enough to feed the entire pier. True story.

So as you can see, I've more or less been hanging out since tour ended. And I'm loving it.

Taken

I can't believe how quickly the wedding is approaching. Seems like last week that we got engaged. I'm not really nervous yet but I'm told that's normal. Lindsay and Roxy tell me they didn't get nervous until the night before the wedding.

Lindsay, Roxy, Missa and Gracie are planning the bachelorette party. I'm scared. All I know is that it will be taking place in the Chateau Belle in Laguna. I've never actually stayed at a Chateau Belle hotel, which is kinda odd since I know the people that own them. They're only like the most luxurious hotels on the planet. Should be a good time!

Sweet Life

Back home! New York was awesome! Had the best time, as always.

Lindsay and Roxy own my soul. But every time I go to New York I come back wanting a baby. I'm not entirely sure when I'll really be ready to have my own. I want to be married a while. Only because I really love my work and want to do the whole newlywed thing before we truly tie ourselves down in the way you do when you have a kid.

I was talking to Mom about getting an implant. Lindsay and Roxy got them a couple months ago and are very happy with them. It's a good idea... I've just never been stoked on medical procedures. Especially those that involve huge needles. But I suppose it's the smartest thing to do. And also, it will mean that I wont have to worry about taking the pill and using condoms when we're travelling in Europe. Handy.

City Lights

New York!

I'm sooo stoked to be here, hanging with my gingernuts! How I have missed them. It's been wayyy too long! I've been here since yesterday and am having the best time. Obviously leaving Joel at home sucks... but quality time with The Twins is always awesome. Besides, I'll see my man in a week!

All I Ever Wanted

Current location: Pensacola, Florida

I'm a terrible blogger. I've been neglecting my blogging duties. It wont happen again.

Only three days and two shows until tour ends! Sadness. To say that it's been amazing would be an understatement. Words really can't describe what this experience means to me. It's been absolutely incredible.

I'll miss the awesome people I've met whilst on the road, like the crew and the management team. And the bus. I love living on a bus. I love travelling. I love music.

And I can't wait to do it all again.

Magic In The Air

Current destination: Reno, Nevada.


How I love being on tour. I truly do. I've realized my calling. I'm a gypsy. I'm supposed to be on the road... and this realization only makes me more excited to go travelling with Joel in May. I can't wait to explore Europe!

We're actually renting an RV and are gonna drive all over Europe. It's gonna be heaven. I can't put how excited I am about it into words.

But can you feel this magic in the air? It must have been the way you kissed me.

Wedding preparations are more or less sorted - how insane is that!? And you know what? I had almost nothing to do with it! Many thanks to Mom, Missa and Amanda, my soon-to-be mother-in-law! Oh, and to Lindsay and Roxy! I gave them, along with Missa, creative wardrobe control and they have NOT disappointed! I absolutely love the dresses and suits they came up with!

It might seem weird to some that I let other people pick out my bridesmaids dresses and all that... but, honestly, I'm really not that bothered about it. And I knew that Lindsay, Roxy and Missa would do a much better job at it than I would have. And they did!

We're getting married in Laguna Beach on May 15th 2010. How crazy is that? I'm going to be a married woman. Madness.

Impossible

Current destination: Seattle, Washington.

We were in Portland yesterday. Grandma and Grandpa came out to see me, which was awesome. And I met with Dad. I knew I was going to see him, of course, but I was still very nervous and apprehensive about it. Missa was adamant that she didn't want to see him so I told him that it would be better if he didn't come to the show and I met up with him elsewhere. We ended up at a nearby cafe. I took Joel with me for moral support.

He didn't ignore Joel like he did the last time we met up, which I appreciated. He seemed to be making an effort to include him in the conversation. He asked about the wedding and told me that he understood that he couldn't be there. I'm glad he said that because I was worried about it.

He asked about Missa and Serena but not about Mom. Oh well. She doesn't need him to think about her because she's a hundred times the person he'll ever be. She would never beat on someone weaker than her.

It wasn't nearly as awkward this time, which I am thankful for, but I know it's never gonna be the same. And I have to live with that.

Victoria

Current destination: Victoria, BC.

Back to work! Such an awesome break, but I'm super stoked to be back on the road!

I feel completely refreshed and completely ready to kick some ass! It is now apparent to me that my sexual frustration was holding me back... so all I can say is this - prepare to be rocked so hard that your faces melt. It gets wild from here on out.

So wild, in fact, that I've already called the first game of the ongoing Scrabble tournament and I'm going to win it.

Good To Be

Home sweet home!

We're on an eleven-day break at present. We resume tour, in Canada, on the 18th!

I'm stoked to be home. I've missed this little apartment. We've been back since Monday... and we've spent more or less the entire time in the apartment, in bed. Oh well. I have a shopping date with Cadence, Raven and Missa tomorrow!

Missa and Ben broke up. It's been a long time coming. It wasn't working out. It was an amicable decision. I wish him nothing but the best. He's a cool guy.

I miss the gingernuts terribly.

Anyways, I need to go do some yoga or something. I've done like an hour since we've been back... shoot me.

Lubbock

Current destination: Somewhere between Lubbock, TX, and Vegas...

Slept in until around noon, did some yoga and that's about all. Being stuck on a bus is not as awesome as it sounds, but we do our best to keep occupied. I think I'm going to do Gracie's make-up in a minute. We're going to pull the bus over in an hour or so and get dinner. We're all very excited.


Words can't express how glad I am that Missa and Gracie were able and willing to come out on the road. There are nine people on this bus - three chicks and six dudes. I'm not sure how I'd survive without Missa and Gracie! It's nice to not be the only person on the bus that has a period, you know?

Let's Get Crazy

Current destination: St. Charles, Missouri.

I must apologize because I haven't blogged in a little minute, and I said I would.

So, Operation Hotel Room was a raging success. We ended up getting a room that night and we managed to get one last night too. Frustratingly, my sex drive seems to have increased since tour started. You always want what you can't have, huh?

We have a Scrabble tournament going on at the moment and let me tell you, I am not to be messed with. The atmosphere on the bus is almost too much when someone pulls the Scrabble board out. People are putting money down. It's wild.

Windy City

Current destination: Chicago.

Almost done with wedding preparations! It stills seems a little too surreal to me. Married. I'm going to have a husband. Mom keeps asking how long we're gonna wait to have kids. I told her she shouldn't be encouraging unprotected sex.

Living on a bus is turning out to be a real adventure, to say the very least. But I love it. I love seeing new places, meeting new people and gaining new knowledge. I love the late-night jam sessions with the guys. We've wrote, like, ten songs since we've been out on the road. It's such a bonding experience.



I miss Lindsay and Roxy a lot. We talk on the phone most days, but it's not quite the same, is it? I miss Cadence too. She's in New York at the moment, so I got to talk to her on the phone this morning when Lindsay called. She's a special one. I'm glad we met. She puts things into perspective.

I think I've covered all I had to cover. All is well. But I'm more than ready for some alone time with Joel. I've had no action whatsoever in six days, and that was ten minutes in a dressing room. I'm thinking about getting a room tonight. We have a travel day tomorrow, but I don't think we leave until late morning. I'm hoping that's the case. I'll have to ask our tour manager, Mark. I'm so desperate at this point that I'm well past embarrassment. I need this.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Read My Lips

Current destination: Milwaukee.

I'm pleased to announce that I read an entire book today! I've been slacking on my reading since tour started, so I decided to catch up during the 550-mile Tennessee > Wisconsin drive.

The book was pretty interesting. It's called Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality. I think the title is kinda self-explanatory, but I will admit that it has me thinking about things, which is all I ask for in literature. I picked it up at a truck stop in Nashville this morning, along with a couple other books. It's kinda left-field for me because I'm not necessarily a particularly religious person. But I am spiritual. It presents some interesting theories.

We dropped Mom and Serena at the airport this morning. I'm sad to see them leave. Having them here has been such a blessing. I'll miss the post-show chats with Mom. I promised I'd call everyday and I will.

Family Ties

Still in Pikeville. Tonight we rock!

I visited with a couple radio stations this morning. I totally don't mind doing press. I like to talk. A little too much, probably.


It was kinda weird to step back on the bus this morning, even though we've only been gone two days. I guess I'm not quite used to it yet. Mom and Serena leave on Friday. I'm bummed about it, but I know they'll be back. I'll miss them. Having Mom out on the road has been a blessing.

Dad called this morning. He wanted to know whether he can see me at the Portland show. He wants to see Missa too, but she's still not ready to talk with him, which I understand. But who knows? Maybe she'll have come to terms with the situation by then. I told him I'd call him in a couple days and give him my decision. Perhaps an hour or so wouldn't be too bad. Or perhaps it would. I don't know.

I know I've said it in the past, and I know it's dumb, but I feel like I need to keep what's left of this family together. Not together in the literal, geographical sense, but together in the sense that Serena might well decide in years to come that she wants answers, or simply to have a relationship with him, and I think I'd feel responsible if she couldn't because I hadn't bothered to keep contact available to her. She's young and he's still our father, you know? There's a good chance that she's gonna have something to say to him at some point. I don't know.

I love Dad, but I'll never be able to understand his behavior. And I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive it.

Vinyl Girl

Such an awesome day. I love lazy days with my man.

We woke up super late, at like noon, and ordered lunch. Then I did some yoga and palates, and then we showered, got dressed and decided to go exploring. We found a super cool record/comic store and spent way too much money. And then we hit up a vintage store and I brought three rad tees, some awesome red jeans and the most amazing skirt you ever did see.

We absolutely love record and comic stores. Yes, we're nerds. We never really play CDs around the apartment, and I was never into CDs when I was a kid. It was always about Vinyl and always will be. Comics rule too.

Last night was an awesome time. And I'm sure tonight will be awesome too. He is awesome.

All The World Tonight

Current destination: Kentucky.

So we arrived in Pikeville, KY, this morning and have two days until our next show on the 17th! And I have no press to do! Joel and I have booked into a hotel for tonight and tomorrow night, which I am more than stoked on. I mean, these backstage exchanges have been fun, but I'm more than ready to spend a night alone with him. I plan on going all out. Candles, sexy underwear, you name it. There's a reason why they call me Lynx.

Another awesome thing about touring? The meet and greets. I absolutely love meeting the people that make all this possible.

And don't think I've forgotten that I'm getting married soon. We're getting married Saturday May 22nd in Laguna Beach, California! It's kinda weird to be making wedding plans whilst out on the road, but Mom has been an awesome help to me! Basically I decide what I want and then she makes the calls and arranges things. I'm no good at planning events. Thank God for Mom, huh?

Oh, Hi, Yo

Just beat Missa's ass at Scrabble... because we're badass like that. Pre-show Scrabble is crucial. Mom gave me a game last night. I kicked her ass too. I'm Scrabble Queen.

Tonight we rock Ohio! I like it up here a lot. Everything is good right now. I absolutely love my opening act, Titanium! Lewis, Matt and Freddie make up the band and they're all crazy talented guys, as well as downright awesome people. I'm super glad I have them on board.

Jammin' to Decadence on the bus - most inspirational record EVER.

I'm so glad Mom and Serena were able to make it out on the road. Obviously I'm glad to have Missa here, but I knew she'd be here regardless. It's been super awesome to be able to look over and see my Mom at my side every night. I'll be sad when she and Serena have to leave.

I am almost certain that Mom and Missa have caught on to Joel and I's little games. They did make a rather obvious comment at dinner last night about us spending too much time in the dressing rooms and getting showered. Joel thought it rather amusing. I want to die, to be quite honest.

Bad To The Bone

So I must apologize - I've been kinda missing in action this past week, huh?

Tour is amazing! It's beyond amazing, actually. It's everything I ever wanted. We're playing in New Jersey tonight! I'm super excited!

I'm somewhat embarrassed to write about this, but nobody reads this blog besides Lindsay and Roxy, and something tells me that they wouldn't judge...

So, Joel and I have discovered a solution to that little problem we were presented with. You know the one. I have to give him the credit, because he initiated and I was rather hesitant to begin with. But, basically, our new motto is: whenever, wherever. As in whenever and wherever we can. Yeah, I never thought I'd be the quickie-in-the-dressing-room kinda girl but... the current 'on tour' situation calls for drastic action.

If I'm entirely honest, it's been kinda fun. Don't get me wrong - I cannot wait to get a hotel room - but these encounters are keeping us going.

Backstage

Last night was quite possibly one of the best night's of my life.

The show went great, the reviews have been great and words cannot begin to explain how incredible it is to have 2,500 people sing your songs back to you. I am truly blessed.

Born For This Tour 2010

We have moved onto the bus! I am sooo excited! This bus is absolutely amazing. I'm already loving being on tour and tour hasn't even started! I'm beyond blessed.

We play our first show tomorrow night, here in New York, at the Hammerstein. We're gonna be sleeping at the hotel tonight, but Eric, my manager, thought it would make sense to move everyone onto the bus and get settled today, since things are gonna be hectic tomorrow. I can't wait! I can't wait to spend my first night in my bunk! But I'm kinda glad that we have the hotel for tonight. Lord knows when Joel and I will next be able to be intimate... so we might as well make the most!

I'm so stoked to get out there!

Unexpected Love

Mom and Serena arrived in New York yesterday evening. Oddly enough, my Mom hadn't actually met The Twins until yesterday, which is kinda crazy to me, considering how much I love and value them. But it was a pretty neat time! We all went to their house and had an amazing dinner, cooked by Malachi! Boy's got some skills!

Aliana was super sweet, as per usual, and really took the time to put Mom at ease... and once we were back at the hotel Mom told me that she had a great time, and I believe her. Aliana told her that she and Serena should come to New York more often. I really hope they do! Someone like Aliana is exactly what Mom needs. Serena had a great time too. She spent most of the afternoon and evening upstairs with Cassidy, but she totally fell in love with the babies and kept asking to hold Nate, which was adorable. I did tell her at one point that babies don't like to be passed around a lot, but Roxy assured me that she absolutely didn't mind Serena fussing over him.

I really am blessed to have such amazing people in my life. I guess it's odd when you think about how different Lindsay, Roxy and I are as individuals... and yet somehow they are two of my closest friends.

Feeling Good

My skull is pounding. Kill me.

Last night was insane. I danced too much, drank too much and fell over at least three times. I'm told that Cadence and I were dancing on a pole at one point. I don't remember that. I do, however, remember walking in on Roxy and Malachi in the bathrooms at one point. And then there was Roxy diving on the floor to take a picture up my dress. Thank God I remembered to wear panties, huh?

Fun times!