Life Lessons

Things I have learned over the past three years;

- Growing up is never easy, regardless of whom you are, what you do or how much money you make. Nobody is exempt from the stresses and strains that come with adolescence.

- Forgiveness is crucial. Argument is, to a degree, a healthy expression of true love. There is nothing wrong with arguing so long as you're prepared to apologize and make things right.

- You can never give too much. It's important to be grateful for the blessings in your life, however big or small. It doesn't matter how much money you make or how much time you have on your hands; we can all do our part. There is no excuse not to.

- Everybody should do Yoga.

- Sex is not shameful.

- There is nothing wrong with wearing heels. Granted I don't walk in them very well, but I do feel extremely graceful wearing them.

- I'm embarrassingly petite and always will be. Up until quite recently I was convinced that I was going to have this amazing 10-inch growth spurt. It didn't happen. My boobs were supposed to get bigger too.

- Being a woman sucks at times. Yes, I'm talking to you, Miss Monthly.

- Parents aren't perfect.

- Corresponding with the above, I am nowhere near ready to become a parent.

- I don't handle alcohol well.

- Cady Cross is a nutter. But a lovable one.

- Life is miserable without the people that matter.

Let's Dance

Rehearsals!

The excitement is contagious. We're all stoked to be going on tour. And I'm super stoked that my loved ones will be around me. Gracie will be on the road with us an entire month, and Missa will be with us throughout the whole tour. Mom and Serena are coming out for two weeks.

Dad called me yesterday to ask whether he's allowed to attend the Portland show, which is in the third week. Since Mom and Serena will be back in LA by then, I told him I'd consider it. I still have Missa to think about. I don't want to put her in a situation she doesn't want to be in. I mean, I absolutely understand why she doesn't want to see him. Truth be told, I don't have any great desire to see him... but I feel like somebody needs to keep the peace for Serena's sake. I know she doesn't want to see him right now but she could well change her mind for her own reasons. She's only a child. I don't want her to get older and decide she wants to make contact and not be able to. Something tells me that she's going to want answers at some point. Maybe not this year, or next, or even in five years, but I feel like there will come a time.

White Wedding

I suck at planning weddings. Thank God I have Mom to help me. I'm the least organized person on the planet.

We're headed up to Laguna this weekend with Mom and Serena. Amanda suggested that we bring them so she and Mom can talk about the wedding. I think our Moms are more excited about it than we are. I'm almost certain I want the wedding to take place in Laguna. On the beach.

He's The One

Making the promo rounds! I did 9 interviews today, and then had to rehearse. I'm exhausted. Oh well.

Mom has seen an apartment she likes... and Missa is back home, so Joel and I might be alone once more sooner than expected.

We've been living together since April. I love that we have our own place. He's pretty easy to live with. I have to give credit where it's due. He's neat and he always puts the toilet seat down. He makes the bed and he's not freaked out by my tampons.

I love him. He's special.

Boys

At tour/production rehearsals!

I'm sooo excited! We're working on the stage to begin with. I'm not entirely sure what I want the stage to look like, but I want it to be nice and bright and uplifting. I'm putting sketches together at the moment... but I never was the best artist.


I've never felt like a solo artist. I feel like the boys are just as important to these songs as I am, and I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. Kaden, Liam and Chris are the brothers I never had, and I love them to death. There's nothing I wouldn't trust them with. Liam, in particular, has an amazing ear. I met him the week I moved to LA. We just clicked. I knew straight away that I wanted him in the band. He's been so supportive throughout all the shit I've been through with my Dad. His own parents had an abusive relationship, so he totally gets where I'm coming from.

And then there's Kaden. God bless Kaden Henson. I love his stupidness, his badass drum skills and the fact that he can't keep a girl for longer than a month. It's kinda weird to me that he and Joel are actually related, because they have absolutely nothing in common. But it works. Kaden can always make me laugh. He has a pretty crude sense of humor at times, which I love. He thinks he can get away with it because I'm engaged to his brother.

Last but not least is Chris, who is one of the most artistic people I have ever met. He has an incredibly introspective mind and is great for real, deep conversations about things that matter. He's incredibly smart and also one of the most thoughtful people I've ever known. Before he joined the band, he was living in a camper van, sleeping in a different town each night.

I'd love to live like that. Maybe Joel and I can rent one to take across Europe when we go travelling!

Bowled Over

Bowling nights with Joelly, Missa, Kaden, Chris and Liam. Missa was my teammate. We kicked ass. I'm not one to brag... but I'm pretty damn awesome when it comes to bowling.


I'm actually pretty tired. Swimming with Mom and Missa tomorrow. I hate wearing a bikini... but swimsuits are gross. Missa doesn't see what the big deal about wearing a bikini is, and it isn't really a big deal, I guess I just like to be modest in what I wear. I mean, I wouldn't go out in public in my underwear, would I? Isn't wearing a bikini more or less the same thing? Call me a prude but the only person I want seeing my body is Joel, because I choose to share it with him.

Hot Mess

UGH! I hate hangovers! I'm never drinking again.

Gracie, Missa, Kizzie and I decided to skip the movie and head to a bar instead. Bad idea. We were all too drunk to drive, so I had to call Joel and have him pick us up, then drop Gracie and Kizzie home. He laughed about it but I still feel kinda bad for dragging him out of bed at 2am. And then Missa had to drive me out to the bar this morning to pick up my car, since I was supposed to be last night's designated driver...

Minus the consequent hangover, it was a pretty awesome night. I am champion at pool. Actually, Roxy kicks my ass every time I play with her. I don't like her much.

It's kinda funny that I ended up wasted last night, since I'm not actually old enough to buy alcohol. Oh well. Kizzie, Missa and Gracie are =] And I will be in, like, three weeks! Woohoo! Vegas, baby! I don't usually do the whole 'let's get crazy' thing on my birthday... but it's my 21st, so I absolutely have to! My birthday is December 11th, which is a Friday, so I'm taking the besties to Vegas! I'm sooo excited! I think it's gonna be me, Joel, Missa, Daniel, Gracie, Kizzie, Beth, Lindsay, Roxy, Malachi, Jason, Loren, Kay, Justine, Brittany, Cady, Harry and my boys.

Bring it on!

Girl Time

About to head out to pick up Gracie and Kizzie Kae! We think we're going to see a movie, but we have no idea what to see, because, between us, we've seen every movie on the planet. Oh, Missa's coming too!

She and her boyfriend, Ben, are going through a rough patch. I know they'll work it out. They always do. So I now have Mom and Serena in the guest bedroom and Missa on the couch... It's gonna be super weird when everyone leaves and Joel and I have the place to ourselves again.

Mom is thinking about going back to school. I think it's an awesome idea. I think it'd be great for her self-esteem. She needs to get out there and meet people. Not necessarily guys. She hasn't had the chance to make many friends since she's been out here. She sometimes talks with the lady downstairs, Anne, and they've had coffee a couple times. Anne has one grown-up son, who no longer lives with her but visits a couple times a week, and is very talkative. A genuinely nice lady. I've told Mom to invite her up for coffee sometime but I think Mom feels bad about inviting people into my home. Truth be told, I'd feel so much better if she did.

Gypsy Lover

Mom, Missa, Serena and I had our nails did!

Sexy nails, platinum blonde... I'm looking super LA at this point in time.

Joel and I are going to travel the world! I'm sooo excited! We've been discussing the idea since we met... but then I signed my record deal and life has been pretty much non-stop since. My schedule is more or less solid until April 2010, and then we get married in May... and it occurred to me that this is our chance! Lord knows when I'll next be able to take that kinda time off. And what better way to celebrate our marriage? It'll be kinda like a three-month-long honeymoon! I presented the idea to Joel and he's just as stoked on it as I am. We're gonna go pick up some travel brochures tomorrow! 2010 is going to be the best year ever!

I'm truly blessed. I can't believe that I'm going to be touring America and travelling the world in one lifetime, let alone one year. Life is amazing.

March 2009

Here Comes...

Mom picked up some wedding magazines last night, and she, Missa and I spent the morning going through them. Truth be told, I haven't given the actual wedding much thought until now... but looking at these magazines has me super excited!

We've decided on a summer wedding. We're hoping to do it sometime in late May, which means that we can have an outdoor service. Joel suggested that we get married in Laguna, and I actually really like the idea. It's so beautiful out there. Plus, it's close enough to LA that most people will be able to drive out there without problem. Maybe we could do it on the beach...

I'm thinking I'll have 6 bridesmaids; Missa, Serena, Lindsay, Roxy, Gracie and Victoria. I'm sure Kaden will be best man, which is fine with me. There's no one else I'd rather have. As for groomsmen, I have to have my boys; Chris and Liam.

I think I'll ask Grandpa to walk me down the aisle. I'm not inviting Dad... and I'll explain that to him when the time comes. I know it will kill him, and it kills me that it had to come to this, but I'm not going to put Mom and Serena through that, even though Mom swears she doesn't mind. She is without a doubt the most amazing person on the planet... but truth be told, I wouldn't even consider having him there.

Another Day

Spent the morning rehearsing at Smashbox. I cannot wait until tour starts!! It's gonna be amazing.

Once we got done with rehearsal, I went to hang with Cady and Raven at Raven's studio. We ended up writing a couple songs. Such talented women. Both are incredible musicians. Raven really should put out a record. She says that her place is 'behind the music', but I absolutely disagree. Not only is she a phenomenal producer, but an amazing lyricist and an awesome vocalist. She could do it all.

Cady is probably the most talented musician I know. Her lyrics break my heart. She breaks my heart. Her story is too tragic to be true, you know? And yet it is.

On a more humorous note, Mom and I had an interesting chat this evening. We were in the kitchen, eating dinner, when she asked me, again, when I'd be having her grandchild. I told her to ask me again in ten years, and she was like, 'Actually, I may have to ask Missa. I'm not sure that you'd be able to carry a child. You're hips aren't wide enough'.

WTF!? My hips aren't wide enough?

Me: What the Hell does that have to do with it?
Mom: Well, baby, you've got to get that thing out!

So apparently I can't have kids because my hips aren't wide enough.

Love To Hate

I was looking around town, thinking the same as you...

I'm not a complicated kid. I'm not hard to amuse. I'm nothing you aren't.

Lynx Loves;

- music.
- white chocolate.
- new socks.
- the iPhone.
- her Gingernuts (you know who you are).
- getting better at guitar.
- traveling.
- writing.
- yoga.
- baking.
- good wine.
- burnt toast.
- video games.
- dancing.
- Red Bull.
- bike rides.
- hiking.
- make-up.
- Disneyland.
- Disney movies.
- Anything Disney.
- Joel Henson.

Lynx Doesn't Love;

- liars.
- fighting/arguing.
- cheating.
- uptight people.
- spinach.
- socks with holes in them.
- being overheated.
- inconsideration.
- writer's block.
- being let down.
- seeing loved ones upset.
- cleaning.
- cooking.
- paper cuts.
- phone bills.

See, we're not so different, you and I.

You Win Some Always

Joel and I decided to go to the arcade because, well, there was nothing better that we could/should have been doing with our lives last night. Why not a little air hockey?

I won, obviously, because I always do. I make no apologies.



Joel needs to work on his technique is all.

And, since he lost, he'll be buying when we go to see Saw VI tomorrow night! I'm stoked to see it. I love the Saw movies!

Feeling Sorry

I'm not sure how to feel at the moment.

It was worse than I had been anticipating. I'm so sick of his excuses. I'm sick of him painting himself as the victim. He tried to tell me that it was a 'one-time' thing, like that would make it better...

At that point I told him that we knew he'd done it numerous times. He denied it, called Mom a liar and a couple other nice names. I was shaking so hard. Joel held both my hands. Dad barely acknowledged him... up until I told him we were engaged, to which he looked at Joel, then me and said, 'Oh, right. Congratulations.'

The worst thing was that he kept telling me how much he loved 'his girls' and that he missed us. He asked me whether I thought Missa and Serena would see him soon. I was honest. I told him that Missa didn't want to see him ever again, and that Serena was terrified of the thought of him, to which he cried. He then asked me whether I would be back to see him... and once again, I was honest. I told him that I had no idea, that I was completely disgusted by his actions.

He never once asked about Mom. He kept apologizing, but never for anything specific, and judging by the fact that he was only too quick to call her a liar when we first arrived, there's no doubt in my mind that he feels no remorse whatsoever for what he actually did. He's sorry that he lost his daughters, sure, but he's not sorry for domestically abusing his wife over the past three years. He's not sorry for the fact that his eight-year-old daughter has nightmares about her Daddy hitting her Mommy.

I'm so done with this shit.

Oregon

I have no words.

Last Chance Love

We landed in Oregon a couple hours ago and are now at Grandma and Grandpa's house <3 I love it here. Feels like home.

We're heading over to see Dad in about 20 minutes. I'm so nervous. I want answers. I want to know how he could have done this to us ...and if he isn't interested in being honest then I'm not interested in talking to him.

Love

Fans rule.
I wish I could tell you all how much your support means to me.

My World

Joel and I are heading up to Oregon on Thursday. We wont be there long - we come back on Saturday - but I'm a little anxious about seeing Dad. Grandma and Grandpa are insisting that we stay with them, and Grandma assures me that Dad has been told that he isn't to come to the house unless he clears it with me.

As much as I'd rather not, I know I have to see him. I plan on going over there at some point on the Thursday, with Joel, getting it over and done with, and then spending Friday with Grandma and Grandpa. And then Joel and I are meeting with Hannah, whom I have known since I was seven, and going to dinner with her and her new man, Josh. She's a suuuper cool chick and we always hang out whenever I make it back to town.

I have no idea what I'm gonna say to Dad. I'm also nervous about what he's gonna say about the engagement. I mean, nothing he could say would change a thing, but I don't want him giving Joel a hard time about not asking his permission. Fact is, I asked him, a couple months ago, not to ask Dad's permission whenever the time came, because I'm no longer his.

I asked Missa whether she wanted me to tell him anything, but she doesn't have anything to say to him. I'm not sure she'll ever recover from this... and I can't say that I blame her. She always finds it hard to forgive, whether it's something as huge as this or something as little as a stupid argument with Daniel. It's just her nature.

Serena has given me a letter to give to him. I've no idea what it says. Mom wants me to tell him that he can have the house, and also that she wont stop him seeing Serena, should Serena ever want to see him. And that's about all.

All Hallow's Eve

Halloween was awesome! Joel drove down to Laguna yesterday morning, picked Victoria up and brought her back to LA. We decided it would be nice to take her and Serena out and have her spend the night with us. Words can't describe how happy it makes me to see Serena smiling and laughing, being the kid that she was never able to be back in Oregon. She told us that she hadn't been out on Halloween since the last time Missa and I took her... and that was at least three years ago, so we wanted to do something special and show her a real good time. And I think we did.

I ate so much candy last night. If candy were alcoholic I would have been wrecked.