You Thought Wrong

No, you're not seeing things. This is indeed my second post this week. Whilst I usually wouldn't dare blog quite so frequently under normal circumstances, a certain issue was brought to my attention today and I want to vent about it. So here goes. 

This afternoon I found myself home alone for the first time in forever. Joel and Kaden decided to go shopping. I was invited, but I had cramps and decided that it was safer to stay home. Besides, the apartment could do with a wiping over and I needed to sort out my closet. These tasks didn't take me quite as long as I had anticipated. With nothing else to do, I decided to watch some television, which I very rarely do. I started to watch a talk show. The topic was Teens Out Of Control, and the guest was a 15-year-old girl. She admitted to having slept with at least 40 people, one being a 60-year-old man, and had caught Chlamydia twice. She had been involved in group sex, BDSM and was regularly prostituting herself. On top of all that, she had a boyfriend whom she was also sleeping with and who was completely aware of what she was getting up to. 

My first thoughts were those of shock and disgust. But, as I listened to that child speak, they turned into pity and sadness. I wanted to talk to her, to hug her and ask why. Why does this child have so little self-respect? Where has she learned this? Who has taught her that this is the way forward? Where are her parents? Well, that much was obvious. Her parents had refused to come on the show but had given a statement saying that they had given up and that she had always been a 'problem child'. 

It's all too common these days. But that belief isn't completely alien to me. People are always surprised to learn that Joel wasn't my first. I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend, Adrian. I was 16-years-old. I was naive and completely unprepared. I didn't want to. I thought that I had to. He took advantage of me that night, and many more nights. It's one of my biggest regrets in life. And that's only one person. I can't imagine how these girls, who are sleeping with God knows how many people, feel. And I know they feel it. I can see it in their eyes. 

I wish there was something I could say to these girls. I would never want anyone to have the regrets that I have. I made a bad decision and I have to live with that. I have accepted it, but I will never be happy with it.