What Dreams Are Made Of

Oh, silly me. I forgot to share the joyous news.

Joel and I bought a house. A house! No, you're not seeing things. Joel and I have a house!

We're still in our apartment for the time being. We want to get it fixed up before we move in. We haven't even put this place - the apartment - on the market yet. But we're absolutely going to do it this weekend, once I'm back from New York.

A couple months back, Joel and I decided that we wanted to move somewhere a little bigger. Not a lot bigger, but big enough that we can actually have both sides of the family over at any one time. So we arranged to view a few houses in the area. The house we ended up purchasing was the second house we viewed and let me tell you, it was pretty much love at first sight. It's perfect inside and out. Not too big, not too small. It's a dream. Fortunately Joel loved it just as much as I did. We didn't even view the last two houses. We signed on the dotted line there and then!

We've started with the renovations but haven't set a moving date as of yet. All we know is that we want to be in there within the next three months.

As excited as I am about moving into our new little home, I sure am gonna miss our current little home. Our first home together. We've had some awesome times in this little apartment. Leaving is going to be sad. But hey, isn't that what life is all about? Moving onwards and upwards. And I can't wait to see what this new chapter of life has in store for us!

I Didn't Forget

I haven't blogged since January? Seriously? Geeeez.

You know what's even crazier? Not a whole lot has changed. That's right, three months of abandonment and I have nothing to update on!

I've been in the studio for the most part. We're about halfway done with the new record. We still have a way to go but I absolutely love how it's shaping up so far.

I'm headed out to New York in a couple days. I haven't seen The Twins in about two months. Sadness. I just want to hurry up and get there.

Can you believe it's almost Joel and I's very first anniversary? Doesn't seem possible that we've been married almost a year. But it's true. On May 15, the newlywed period will officially end. Madness!

Somewhere Trouble Don't Go

Spending the weekend at Momma's place. Missa is here too. We're going to shop. We're going to bake. We're going to paint our nails and curl our hair and watch romantic comedies until our brains turn to slush. 

Joel is in Laguna for the weekend. I decided to stay behind and spend some time with Mom, Missa and Serena. I feel like a bad daughter and sister lately. I've been so wrapped up in work and being a newlywed that I've hardly had time for them. 

I miss Joel already though. It's sad. So here I am, hanging out at my Mom's in his shirt like a total loser. I'm wearing a sweater over it because I'm pretty sure that Missa would never let me forget the day I turned into a mess because my husband had been gone for less than 24 hours. And I'm pretty sure that it would serve as a wonderful starting point for Mom's next 'you totally need to have a baby' lecture. I think Serena would get me though. 

It's been a pretty chill day so far. Nice. I'm not in the studio until Tuesday. Joel will be back by then. I'm thinking I'll take everyone out to eat tonight. I'm going to call Alex and invite him to meet us at the restaurant. I kinda want to surprise Mom. I think he usually has Kaitlin on a Friday and Saturday. It'll be neat if she comes along too. 

Besides that I don't have many plans for the rest of the day. I want to call the twins at some point. And I need to call Cady to make sure that we're still on for Sunday. I'm supposed to go over and hang out. I love that chick. 

All The Small Things

Christmas was wonderful. Perfect. We got to spend time with both sides of the family and still managed to find time to ourselves too. Spending our first Christmas together as a married couple exceeded any and all expectations I might have had.

I also forgot to mention in my last post that I had a birthday last month. I turned the big 2-2 on December 11! Joel and I spent the day together, and then we went to dinner with the entire family - my side and his - in the evening. It was pretty awesome.

We spent New Years in New York. The Twins threw a killer bash, of course! Everyone was there and I think we both had the best New Years ever. Joel isn't usually a drinker but I managed to persuade him to have a few beers. He definitely enjoyed himself. We spent New Years Day recuperating at the Twins' house, which is kinda difficult with that many kids running about but amusing nonetheless! Joel hasn't spent that much time in New York and had only seen the kids a few times. He kinda fell in love, particularly with Nate. I suspect it's just because he's the baby.

We got talking about babies and whatnot, as we sometimes do. Joel kinda surprised me when he told me that he'd like to start a family in five years or so. I gotta be honest, I was thinking more like ten years down the line. But the more I think about it, the less scary five sounds. Still, I think it's pretty safe to say that we wont be trying anytime soon!

Holidays Here

Happy Christmas (Eve)!

This is Joel and I's first Christmas as a married couple and I cannot wait. I love Christmas, always have done, but I'm even more excited this year. It's been one of the best years of my life. I feel like asking for another year like this one would be asking too much.

We'll be over at Mom's tomorrow. Missa will be there too, of course. She's not bringing her new boyfriend, although we all encouraged her to. She says it doesn't feel right since they're not that serious yet. But Alex, Mom's boyfriend, will be spending the day with us! I'm so happy for her. I really think things are gonna work out for them. I hope they do. He's an awesome guy. His kids, Ollie and Kaitlin, will be joining us in the afternoon, along with Ollie's girlfriend, Freya, as they'll be spending Christmas morning with their Mom.

Getting everyone gifts this year has been kinda difficult, especially since we don't know Ollie or Kaitlin - or even Alex - that well. We also got Freya a little something. It's just a pretty little bracelet I found in a boutique last week. It's not much but I thought we should give her something. I showed Ollie and he said it's exactly her kinda thing, so I'm hoping she'll like it. I've only met Freya once and it was very briefly, but she was really friendly and seemed super sweet. She's 24, so I'm sure we'll find plenty to talk about tomorrow.

We're going down to Laguna on Boxing Day and spending a couple days with Joel's family. I feel kinda bad about not spending Christmas Day with them but Amanda told me not to be silly and that she completely understood me wanting to be with my Mom. I suggested to Joel that we spend the morning and early afternoon at my Mom's and then make our way to Laguna for the evening but he assured me that he didn't mind going down on Boxing Day instead. I'm sure in years to come we'll merge together and all spend Christmas as one big family, but I feel like that's something you do when you have kids. Still, our families exchanged gifts and Serena and Victoria exchanged gifts, which was super nice.

After we get back from Laguna we should have a week or so to ourselves before I have to get back in the studio. As much as I love doing the family thing, I am looking forward to having some time alone with Joel. Because he really is the best husband in the world.

You Thought Wrong

No, you're not seeing things. This is indeed my second post this week. Whilst I usually wouldn't dare blog quite so frequently under normal circumstances, a certain issue was brought to my attention today and I want to vent about it. So here goes. 

This afternoon I found myself home alone for the first time in forever. Joel and Kaden decided to go shopping. I was invited, but I had cramps and decided that it was safer to stay home. Besides, the apartment could do with a wiping over and I needed to sort out my closet. These tasks didn't take me quite as long as I had anticipated. With nothing else to do, I decided to watch some television, which I very rarely do. I started to watch a talk show. The topic was Teens Out Of Control, and the guest was a 15-year-old girl. She admitted to having slept with at least 40 people, one being a 60-year-old man, and had caught Chlamydia twice. She had been involved in group sex, BDSM and was regularly prostituting herself. On top of all that, she had a boyfriend whom she was also sleeping with and who was completely aware of what she was getting up to. 

My first thoughts were those of shock and disgust. But, as I listened to that child speak, they turned into pity and sadness. I wanted to talk to her, to hug her and ask why. Why does this child have so little self-respect? Where has she learned this? Who has taught her that this is the way forward? Where are her parents? Well, that much was obvious. Her parents had refused to come on the show but had given a statement saying that they had given up and that she had always been a 'problem child'. 

It's all too common these days. But that belief isn't completely alien to me. People are always surprised to learn that Joel wasn't my first. I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend, Adrian. I was 16-years-old. I was naive and completely unprepared. I didn't want to. I thought that I had to. He took advantage of me that night, and many more nights. It's one of my biggest regrets in life. And that's only one person. I can't imagine how these girls, who are sleeping with God knows how many people, feel. And I know they feel it. I can see it in their eyes. 

I wish there was something I could say to these girls. I would never want anyone to have the regrets that I have. I made a bad decision and I have to live with that. I have accepted it, but I will never be happy with it. 

Dream On

I must admit, being married is so much more fun than I thought it would be. 

When you announce that you're planning to get married at a young age, a lot of people will do anything and everything to try to persuade you not to. I can't even begin to list all the horror stories I heard throughout Joel and I's engagement. 

But they were always from strangers, or people that had very little impact on our lives. Nobody that knew us tried to tell us that we were doing the wrong thing. And I think that's partly why I always knew that it was absolutely right. 

Life is good. Work is great. Joel is awesome. 

Missa started seeing a new dude. It's not exclusive yet but she seems to like him, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for her. Mom and Alex are going strong! And Serena is single and will remain so until she's twenty-three. 

I feel pretty lucky right now. 

Raise Your Glass

So my Mom desperately wants Joel and I to have a baby. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her that we're not quite ready yet. She drops hints at every opportunity. She even expressed disapproval when I got my contraceptive implant a few months ago! Call me old school but I feel that this isn't normal. She's forever harping on about how Joel and I would make great parents. And I hope that we will. When the time is right. And I'm not sure that this is that time. Sure, if it were to happen then I'd embrace that, but we're definitely not aiming to become pregnant any time soon. Besides, Missa is a whole sixteen months older than me. If anyone's having a baby then it should be her.

In other news, Dad wrote me. We've been writing back and forth occasionally. I haven't mentioned that Mom's seeing someone, and I don't plan to. I feel that it's up to her to decide whether she wants him to know that or not.

Missa, Serena, Joel and I met Alex's kids - well, adult and teenager - for the first time last week. His son, Ollie, is 26 and works in construction. A real gentleman. He lives in Calabasas with his girlfriend and has awesome taste in music! Alex's daughter, Kaitlin, is 16. She lives with her Mom during the week and spends weekends with her Dad, and also has great taste in music. She's definitely a little shy but super sweet. I can't wait to get to know them both.

Life is pretty sweet right now.

Best Days

My sincerest apologies for taking so long to update. Again. I have no excuses besides being super, super busy. And somewhat of a slacker. And a newlywed, of course.

I'm not sure where to start. I could write a book on the past couple months, I'm sure. It's been great for the most part. I'm absolutely loving married life, as well as family and friends, obviously.

I start work on the new record on Monday! I'm so unbelievably stoked! I can't wait to get into the studio. I have so many songs already, and so much more to write about. I'm a little nervous about putting certain stuff out there... but I also feel like it's a necessary part of the healing process for me. Either way, I can't wait to see where this record takes me!

In other news, Joel and I are now living alone again. Mom and Serena moved into their brand spanking new apartment last week. It's super delicious. Seeing them leave was quite emotional, but they're only twenty minutes away. Missa, who is now living with Gracie, as I think I mentioned before, spent their last night here. We all slept on sleeping bags in the living room, watched movies and giggled until 2AM. It was precious. And then we all helped to move them in the next day, along with Alex, Mom's boyfriend. Things seem to be going great between the two of them. Serena tells me that he's been spending the night at the apartment a lot. Mom's definitely got her glow back. She's constantly smiling these days, and Serena seems to like him a lot. I really, really hope it works out.

As for Joel and I, married life has been nothing but amazing so far. He'll be coming to the studio with me a lot when I start recording, which is great because I'm not sure I'd like having to leave him that much. It's quite pathetic. Oh well. We're newlyweds.

Now that we have the apartment to ourselves again, we decided we'd finish the decorating we never got around to doing. Today we started work on the guest room. It seems weird calling it a guest room again. It's been Mom and Serena's bedroom for the past year. And now it's empty. Kinda bittersweet. But doing it up is turning out to be a lot of fun. Joel and I are both hopeless decorators. But we're having fun.

We've been hanging out with the boys a lot. I missed them so, so much whilst we were gone. I need my boys. We've also seen a lot of Gracie, which I love. I feel like we've barely seen one another this past year. Not because we haven't wanted to but because we've both had so much going on. But now that things are calming down I want to devote some more time to her. Because she really is awesome.

I'm headed out to New York tomorrow! Fun times. I love The Twins. I've seen them once since we got back from Australia and that's just not enough. I have to be back on Sunday to start work on Monday but I'm pretty sure it's going to be an amazing weekend. Joel is going to Laguna to spend some time with the family. He was invited to New York but he likes to give us girls what he calls 'lady time'. And he hasn't seen his parents in around three weeks. Cady is currently in New York too.

I love that woman. I really do. I've seen her a couple times in the past month or so. We hang out when we can. It's kinda crazy to be hanging out with Cady Cross though. It's all crazy really. I mean, I'm not sure that I'll ever get my head around the fact that Lindsay and Roxy Stevens are two of my closest friends. Plus Cady Cross? Madness.

Having Cady in my life has taught me so much. It's taught me to appreciate all that I have and all I've been blessed with. The fact that she's still with us says more about her strength and character than people give her credit for. She's the type of person that changes your life without ever really meaning to. I'd give her the world if I could.

Gotta head out. Joel and I are meeting the boys for dinner and bowling! I'll try to blog whilst I'm in New York!

California Gurls

Just a quick update, since we have to go to dinner in ten! We've been back in LA a little over a week. It's good to be home! Australia was amazing. I'm so, so glad we went. But I'm also stoked to be back home with our loved ones. Mom, Missa, Serena and Gracie met us at the airport, which was a nice surprise! Gracie and Missa are now roomies! I love it!

There's so much to write about and so little time! But I'll do my best to write a proper blog sometime in the near future. But don't hold me to that.

World's Greatest...

10 Reasons Why I Have The Best Husband In The World;

- He always makes sure I have a Red Bull to wake up to in the morning.

- He still thinks I'm hot when I look like Hell.

- He doesn't mind when I spend an hour doing my hair and makeup.

- He plays guitar like a God.

- He's HOT.

- He irons my clothes. Thanks, Babe.

- He doesn't mind when I forget to shave my legs.

- He lets me dye, cut and play with his hair whenever I want.

- He shares my love for crazy pajamas.

- He treats me like a princess, even when I'm PMS-ing at him.

Sigh. Doesn't it make you sick?

Hello, Melbourne

So, once again, I have been somewhat M.I.A. these past couple weeks. I'd apologize and promise never to do it again... but I know I will, so I'll apologize and that will be all.

Australia is amazing! We're having the best time. I still can't believe that I'm here, in Melbourne, with my husband. It's kinda crazy to think about, huh? We've been up to all kinds since we've been down under. Insert highly inappropriate joke here.


I've been feeling super inspired this past week or so. I wrote two songs yesterday alone! Madness! One is called Down To You and another is called Going Forward, and they're kinda related in theme. Down To You is about the day I went to Oregon with Missa to see Dad after the whole ordeal. It was without a doubt the worst day of my life. It's probably the most honest song I've ever written. It's going to be hard to perform night after night... but I want to. I think I need to.

Going Forward is basically the aftermath of Down To You and centers on having to pick up the pieces of what Dad did. I guess I'm a little anxious about Mom hearing it because I know she's going to think she's to blame... and if that's what's going to happen then I'd rather she didn't hear it. It's not about her at all. It's about him. What he did.

I spoke to Dad when we got back to Los Angeles. I hadn't spoken to him since before the wedding. He emailed a couple times whilst we were in Europe but I wasn't really prepared to get into all that whilst on my honeymoon. Still, I did send him a quick email once we arrived back home, letting him know that the wedding went well and that we'd had a great time in Europe. He also asked about Missa and Serena. I told him that they were fine. They're not yet ready to talk to him and I'm not going to interfere with that.

Joel says that I've handled this situation very well, which is comforting to hear. I value his opinion more than he'll ever know, so knowing that he's always behind me is, well, invaluable. I love him. A lot.