Feeling Sorry

I'm not sure how to feel at the moment.

It was worse than I had been anticipating. I'm so sick of his excuses. I'm sick of him painting himself as the victim. He tried to tell me that it was a 'one-time' thing, like that would make it better...

At that point I told him that we knew he'd done it numerous times. He denied it, called Mom a liar and a couple other nice names. I was shaking so hard. Joel held both my hands. Dad barely acknowledged him... up until I told him we were engaged, to which he looked at Joel, then me and said, 'Oh, right. Congratulations.'

The worst thing was that he kept telling me how much he loved 'his girls' and that he missed us. He asked me whether I thought Missa and Serena would see him soon. I was honest. I told him that Missa didn't want to see him ever again, and that Serena was terrified of the thought of him, to which he cried. He then asked me whether I would be back to see him... and once again, I was honest. I told him that I had no idea, that I was completely disgusted by his actions.

He never once asked about Mom. He kept apologizing, but never for anything specific, and judging by the fact that he was only too quick to call her a liar when we first arrived, there's no doubt in my mind that he feels no remorse whatsoever for what he actually did. He's sorry that he lost his daughters, sure, but he's not sorry for domestically abusing his wife over the past three years. He's not sorry for the fact that his eight-year-old daughter has nightmares about her Daddy hitting her Mommy.

I'm so done with this shit.